The naked face of hypocrisy, by Akan Ebenezer

My friends had a fun castigating me for supporting Buhari, a certificateless, brain-dead mummified jihadist who used to be a dictator- briefly. People like me became slaves and Efulefus, the perennial fifth columnists of the Hausa-Fulani hegemony.

So they launched their liberation movement, seeking to free me from my enslavement to the North and the bondage that we help perpetuate. We just had to stop the Hausa-Fulani from ruling- it was Biafra or Death, or we blew up the pipelines and plunge the country into a deep coma.

But today nko, who is having the last laff? Even the party they called their political home zoned the future presidency to the same North- tacitly confirming that they Northerners were “Born to Rule”, and my freedom fighters saw no struggle in that. Now, the hypocrisy has come home to roost with their embrace of Atiku.

So let me see how they intend to market Atiku.

Age

They said Buhari’s age disqualified him, but Atiku will be 73 in 2019; but no one has said he is an old man. Fayose has conveniently found silence to be golden. My friends no longer make asinine references to gerontocracy and adult diapers- all is now well in the land of Methuselah. Atiku is now the patron saint of youthfulness.

So let’s see how the PDP and the Wailers will campaign without making age an issue- again.

Tribe

Atiku is from the North, he is Fulani, and I enjoy the irony of seeing Fulani haters and my freedom fighters singing his praises. The liberation has been won or suspended, we are no more the slaves of the North, but free-born, first-class citizens of One-Nigeria. In fairness to their bigotry, it would be nice if they extended that Fulani hate to Atiku. Even bigotry could be elevated to a virtue, those who hate Buhari because he is Fulani should hate Atiku also. Maybe Atiku is from Northern Cameroon sef!

Education

The PDP gave us the first degree-holding presidents- emphasis on the “Holding”, and laffed at the rest of us for choosing a man who had no secondary school certificate, so it was only fair for us to expect their potential candidates to be Emeritus professors, at worst, Harvard-trained first degree-holders, with a stint at the World Bank for good measure( even an internship would have been okay). But Atiku, even at his most “educated” possesses a plethora of roadside diplomas- akin to the Diplomas Eze Dino racked up.

I even heard he has a Diploma in Law from one Northern university, so I wonder if that makes him a lawyer too, or a judicial clerk.

Atiku left school with an inconsequential grade three WAEC certificate, got into the police college and was kicked out because he didn’t have a pass in O level mathematics. He then moved to a School of Hygenic in Kano a Diploma- probably getting set to be a District Sanitary Officer. And that was the Diploma he joined the Customs  Service with.

I doubt the PDP will be harping on the missing certificate any time soon or Buhari’s academic qualifications. As it stands, Atiku’s academic history cannot compare with the training and education that Buhari got from his military academies.

Career

Customs!!!

Need I say more?

But Atiku must be credited with a measure of intelligence or survival instincts- he got to the top and latched onto a deal with some unknown Italians to set up a logistics company.

And he was just a front, given 5 percent to run interference and open doors along our corridors of power- a typical career path for our rent-seeking and prebendal Big Men, feeding from the system and subverting it to their will.

And we know what Intels became.

I wont go into his Vice Presidency, OBJ is still writing the book on that, but it gives me joy to watch my freedom-fighting friends, seeking beautiful words to hide their bigotry.

And most can’t come out openly with their support, they keep circling, darting around with snide comments they can’t defend. Funny enough, wanting the best for Nigeria is no longer their mantra.

*Ebenezer, a prolific writer and very highly energetic social media activist, posted this on his Facebook wall from his base in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria.