Jubril’s New Wife, by Charles Kaye Okoye

I wanted to cry last night while going home from the office.  I boarded a bus home – 18-seater….. filled to capacity.

We actually drove long distance without any much talk besides small, small chats some of the passengers were making.

Then suddenly, someone said, “E don marry a new wife today naa.” Some other voices asked in unison “Who?”

And the story started……..

“Buhari.”

“Jubril.”

The story started……

“He married today in Aso Rock. You need to see how they used DSS and Amoured car and over 200 soldiers to block the room where Aisha was, so that she wouldn’t come out to stop the wedding.”

I fainted!

We had women on the bus; we had men! Everyone on the bus seemed to be aware of the wedding, and also seemed to be aware of how they locked up Aisha in the room and blocked her with Amoured car and soldiers.

I fainted!

In fact, I began to cry when it dawned on me that my co-passengers were not joking; they didn’t seem to be offering themselves some comic relief as a palliative to the untold suffering occasioned by the very long wait for a bus, and the many hours our bus had to stand still at a spot because of one bad spot on the road. The gridlock was worsened by reckless drivers who left their lanes to block the lane of oncoming vehicles. There was no movement!

But my friends on the bus were not joking nor entertaining one another. They were simply narrating and reliving the wedding of the decade.

Then, amid the cacophony of voices, one voice became distinct. The distinctive voice which I later discovered belonged to the conductor became the lead narrator.

He informed the bemused audience that Jubril’s so-called new wife was packaged from Sudan.

He informed us that she is actually the real wife of Jubril’s, and that they (Jubril and this new wife) were both living together in Sudan as husband and wife, with their children, until the Cabal went and brought Jubril to come and replace the late Buhari.

He informed us that since Jubril was taken from her by the Cabal, that the woman, abandoned in Sudan, had been crying that she should be allowed to see her husband, but the Cabal refused.

He told us that the Cabal, instead, were pumping billions of naira into the woman’s account just to seal her mouth.

He informed us that all the Cabal had succeeded in doing with the wedding was to unite Jubril with his real wife.

As he told his story, many other passengers added their voices in chorus, and they all agreed that that was exactly the situation.

Many lamented how people from our side are often taken for fools by people from the other side.

My friends were pained more by the fact that there are fools among us who have refused to believe all these things even when Nnamdi Kanu has continued to expose them. They wished that these fools will one day come back to their senses.

I rested my head on the backrest in front of me, and willed myself, with all the strength and discipline I can muster, never to utter a word. But at a point, I couldn’t bear it anymore. And I shouted, at the distinctive voice, “Stop lying! Why will an adult enter a bus and start lying and talking trash without knowing those on the bus? Which wedding are you talking about? Which wedding!”

I paused, and looked at the faces of some of the occupants, hoping for some sort of support. None came! Instead, I received barrage of questions. “Were you there? How did you know that there was no wedding?” They were out to devour me. I stopped talking.

And our distinctive voice, whom I had then discovered was the conductor, who continued, “Aisha ran away from Jubril immediately he was brought to Nigeria. The woman kept saying it that Jubril is not her husband. Now, they have brought Jubril’s real wife for him.”

The man sitting beside me, quipped, “But the new wife is a minister naa?”

The conductor seemed not to know that the new wife is actually a minister. So, he didn’t actually answer the question nor offered any explanation on how the woman from Sudan became minister in the first place. He avoided the comment and went on with his story. He was telling the truth. And everyone knew it was the truth!

I looked at the man beside me, encouraged by his comment, I thought I had one person at least, who still has his brain intact. I looked at him and said, “Can you imagine! Why do our people believe all this nonsense? Why have we lost our senses? Can you imagine the lies these people are telling here? And everyone believes them?” He laughed.

I continued, it seemed that I have found a good one at last, one man who still thinks and reasons, and I was willing to get him add voice to mine so we can talk some sense into others.

I continued, looking at him, and now silently willing him to speak up. “Do you know that it is only our people that believe all these lies and spread them? How can our people believe that Buhari is no more alive and that the man who is there now is one Jubril from Sudan?”

And he finally responded….

“The new wife is not from Sudan, but as for Buhari? Buhari has died since!”

I fainted!