Episode one: The Art of the Gentle No

*Why Protecting Your ‘Yes’ is the Ultimate Act of Self-Care

By SUMAYYAH ADEFAKA

Our time and energy are gifts, and we are the stewards of those gifts. We aren’t meant to be everything to everyone; we are meant to be fully present for the things that truly matter.

“Have you ever said ‘yes’ to a request while your heart was screaming ‘no’?

Most times we say yes to be kind, to be helpful, or because we fear being seen as ‘not enough.’ As a result, we become unfulfilled and suffer the pain from within for a long time.

But here is a truth I had to learn the hard way: Every time you say ‘Yes’ to something that doesn’t align with your peace, you are accidentally saying ‘No’ to yourself and your rest.
You can “read that again”.

When we overcommit, we aren’t actually being “more” helpful. We are just giving people the exhausted, resentful version of ourselves. That isn’t kindness; it’s a recipe for burnout. I’ve realized that a “No” whispered with conviction is far more honest—and more pleasing to God—than a “Yes” spoken with a heavy heart.

Our time and energy are gifts, and we are the stewards of those gifts. We aren’t meant to be everything to everyone; we are meant to be fully present for the things that truly matter.

Setting a boundary isn’t about building a wall to keep people out; it’s about building a gate to keep your peace in—because no one will do that for you except you. Never compromise your peace; you will face the consequences alone.

So, how do we start practicing the “Gentle No”?

It starts by realizing that you don’t need to explain yourself away. You don’t need a “good enough” excuse to protect your time. Your need for rest and mental clarity is the reason.

The Life Guide Action:

* The Pause: When asked for a favor, practice saying: “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.” This gives your heart space to breathe before you commit.
* The Script: You can be firm and kind at the same time. Try: “I’d love to help, but my current priorities don’t allow me to give this the attention it deserves right now.”
* Before you agree to something new this week, ask yourself: “If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to at home?”

You are not a machine built for constant output. You are a soul that requires tending. Protect your “Yes” so that when you give it, it truly counts.

Let’s Connect:
Have you struggled with saying “No” lately? I’d love to hear how you are practicing the “Gentle No” this week. Send me your thoughts at princesssumayyah56@gmail.com. or through my handle https://www.facebook.com/share/16yb5rWkxP/