SARCASTIC SUNDAY: Atiku Visits Bauchi, Praises Bala Mohammed for Democratic Tolerance

By MOHAMMED BELLO DOKA

When the African Democratic Congress (ADC) flagged off its presidential campaign in Sokoto, the same historic city where Usman Dan Fodio began his struggle against corruption and inequality, I made a prediction. I said, and I quote: “Let no one be gullible enough to believe he (Tinubu) returns (from Saudi) to play by the rules. Expect more. Expect the weaponisation of security agencies against opposition rallies…”

When the African Democratic Congress (ADC) flagged off its presidential campaign in Sokoto, the same historic city where Usman Dan Fodio began his struggle against corruption and inequality, I made a prediction. I said, and I quote:

“Let no one be gullible enough to believe he (Tinubu) returns (from Saudi) to play by the rules. Expect more. Expect the weaponisation of security agencies against opposition rallies. Expect the courts to become instruments of selective justice. Expect INEC to be pressured into silence. Expect every kobo in state coffers to be deployed not for the people, but for the preservation of power.”

Before the ink on that prediction could dry, a court judgment reportedly emerged, nullifying ADC candidates across the country. Apparently, the entire ADC machinery had conspired to commit the unforgivable crime of existing.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of Sarcastic Sunday with Mohammed Bello Doka, where we examine Nigeria’s political gymnastics with humour and sarcasm because doing otherwise might choke us to death.

This week, we bring flowers to Bauchi State Governor, Bala Mohammed, for his sportsmanship and respect for democratic values.

The governor allowed the ADC to use the Abubakar Tafawa Balewa Stadium for its rally, provided accommodation and even permitted former Vice President Atiku Abubakar to visit the Emir of Bauchi, despite belonging to a different political party.

In a country where opposition rallies are increasingly treated as security threats, such conduct is so rare that it deserves to be preserved in a museum.

But a word of caution to the ADC: do not celebrate too early. In Nigeria, when the government blinks, the courts sometimes catch a fever. Whether it is the court of public opinion or the court of private opinion, we all know which one enjoys better air conditioning.

Atiku’s greatest offence, apparently, is that he sneezes too loudly. And whenever he sneezes, the government catches a cold. What an unforgivable crime!

The man simply visited Bauchi, and somewhere in Abuja, a judge suddenly felt the urge to deliver a judgment. Coincidence, of course. In Nigeria, everything is a coincidence.

The Sokoto State Government denied the ADC access to rally venues and reportedly sealed its campaign office without a court order. The Department of State Services (DSS) was also accused of recruiting protesters to create confusion.

All coincidences.

In Kebbi State, the headquarters of the Malami Pressure Group was reportedly demolished, with the government describing the matter as a private dispute.

Another coincidence.

The pattern is so consistent that it is almost artistic.

And before anyone dismisses these incidents as isolated cases, let us examine some of the controversial statements attributed to prominent APC figures and supporters.

In Osun State, Senator Francis Fadahunsi was reportedly captured in a video allegedly urging supporters to kill Accord Party members wherever they found them.

In Borno, Commissioner Saina Buba allegedly threatened to cut off the fingers of anyone who raised a finger against the APC.

In Yobe, APC Chairman Mohammed Gadaka reportedly advised women to divorce their husbands if the men prevented them from voting for the ruling party.

In Edo, State APC Chairman Jarrett Tenebe allegedly threatened political opponents with AK-47 fire.

In Nasarawa, an APC chieftain reportedly threatened to kill police officers, while in the Federal Capital Territory, Kuje Area Council Chairman Samuel Danjuma Shekwolo allegedly declared that residents must support the APC or leave the area.

These are not isolated incidents. They sound like a chorus, and the choir appears to have rehearsed its lines very well.

Now, let us consider the audacity of a political party without a single sitting governor daring to challenge the powers that be.

The ADC, with zero governors and no federal appointments, had the nerve to organise a rally in Sokoto that apparently shook the foundations of Aso Rock.

How dare they?

Do they not understand that, in Nigerian politics, the opposition is expected to be decorative, not functional?

Meanwhile, some APC figures have been remarkably candid about their political calculations.

Festus Keyamo, Minister of Aviation, reportedly said heaven would not fall if Atiku failed to appear on the ballot. He also suggested that the APC would prefer Atiku and Peter Obi to contest the 2027 presidential election because their participation could split the opposition vote.

Some APC support groups have also declared that nothing can stop President Bola Tinubu from returning to power in 2027.

And then there is FCT Minister Nyesom Wike, who has publicly boasted about having the capacity to determine where Peter Obi wins or loses elections.

These are not merely allegations made by opposition politicians. They are statements attributed to influential figures within the ruling establishment, delivered with the confidence of people who appear certain that nobody will hold them accountable.

So, before another court judgment arrives, let us present our flowers to Governor Bala Mohammed.

He deserves them for demonstrating that political differences should not prevent democratic accommodation. Let us hand over the flowers now, before a judge declares them invalid on procedural grounds.

But beneath the sarcasm lies a serious warning.

The APC has given little indication that it intends to surrender political advantage easily. The opposition must therefore understand the importance of unity, vigilance and strategic cooperation ahead of the 2027 general election.

If opposition leaders fail to unite and subsequently lose the election, what happens next? Will they eventually find themselves united behind prison walls, accused of one offence or another, for daring to challenge a political establishment determined to preserve its mandate?

That is the uncomfortable question Nigerians must confront.

History offers few examples of political establishments that deliberately construct one-party or quasi-one-party systems and then willingly accept the limitations imposed by constitutional term limits and democratic competition.

No political leader should assume that power will voluntarily surrender itself simply because the Constitution says so.

Nigeria must not become another example.

The country belongs to all its citizens, not to any political party, government or individual. Democracy cannot survive where opposition is treated as an enemy, political competition is criminalised and the courts are perceived as instruments of partisan advantage.

That is why Governor Bala Mohammed deserves commendation for allowing political differences to coexist with democratic responsibility.

At least, for once, someone remembered that democracy is supposed to accommodate everybody.

*Mohammed Bello Doka can be reached via bellodoka82@gmail.com.